Community revisited: breaking idols without shattering norms

I haven't been writing in a while, but here is some more to ponder...

Well, this is devoted to responding to Keith's question a few writings ago, and also responding to some of what Greg wrote here.

Keith's question was the following: "How do we break idols without shattering norms? i think these programs help communities develop a grand view of life together- and in our current day and age it is so good- but how do we help them have a picture of this without making it what is worshiped..."

Something that I have been struggling to understand in my faith and in my leading of students is the idea of faithful living being a shear response to who Christ is and what He has done for me/us. Thinking about this response has led me to review what it means to be under law and under grace. This law/grace ponderance led me to think about the difference between condemnation and conviction, and when I have experienced the two emotions.

In my worldview training that happened much at the beach and even more through my interactions with Keith Martel, there were times when I felt a deep guilt for actions (condemnation), and times when I felt remorse yet also a sense of hope for correction. I have experienced the hope more often in times when I have been reading and studying the person of Jesus, and seeking to understand who he was and how he lived. I feel condemnation most often when I am reading the Scripture without the context of Christ and the great story of redemption.

Why has this happened? I can only surmise that when I do not have a proper understanding of who Christ is and what he has done, I read through the scripture and see only rules, which might as well be the same as giving me a list of things that I ought to do, which are impossible to live up to. This is what may be happening at the Beach Project. In striving for community and high levels of learning, we redirect our focus from Christ and start having rules for relationships imposed upon us, and a way of life imposed that may be different from what we are used to. This often gives us a grand view of life because it is a good way, but unless it is viewed from a relationship with Christ, it might as well only be striving for an utopian dream. This dream is what we may be giving people a view of, not an all encompassing understanding and relationship with Christ.

Maybe after the initial study of worldview which I love oh so much, we should move to an intense study of the person and work of Christ so that we are fully humbled and challenged by the God-man who is restoring the world.

Peace,
David

Intriguingly truthful quote from Jacques Ellul

Revelation does not hold up and is not antinihilist unless one holds all elements together in indissoluble fashion, unless the transcendent God is also he who incarnates himself into history, unless the hidden God is also he who reveals himself - and reciprocally the revealed God is also the hidden God - unless holiness (separation) is the condition of love (and vice versa), unless faith produces works and works are necessarily a byproduct of faith, unless everything is done by God and yet we also have to do everything, unless God is sovereignly free and we are free also (not conditioned in any way in spite of foreknowledge and predestination), unless salvation is granted by pure grace and works are useless and yet works are strictly indispensible before God... - Jacques Ellul - from The Subversion of Christianity

Lost jobs, cries of injustice, who is responsible?

Recently in Western PA, there have been a couple of glass plants closing for different reasons. The one that caught my attention was the Glenshaw Glass company (another is Anchor Glass in Fayette County). These closings occur much to the chagrin of workers, and local communities. Also, this past Monday night, Darren Hall, IUP Business and Human Relations student, gave a presentation about labor relations, most specifically relations between labor unions and corporate managers. Darren used a great clip from a Simpson's Season 4 episode called "Last Exit to Springfield" (Episode 417). It was a brilliant clip to show, even though it gives a pretty strong bias against "the man". I would highly recommend watching the show to get some good laughs and political satire.

Are unions selfish? Are corporate execs selfish? The answer to both is most often yes. In the case of Glenshaw glass, there were a lot of factors. The factory is in need of repair from the floods earlier in the fall, and the overall debt and costs for repair were twice the worth of the factory and company as a whole. The bank saw this as a problem, as I am sure it was. Small details are given here and there about the story. News clips showed workers picketing outside on the road with signs telling people to close their PNC bank accounts (PNC being the bank that closed the plant), signs saying that WalMart can't support their family, and others requesting that the plant be re-opened.

Different factors that may never be known are the following: Actual salaries of workers, salaries of the CEO, President, Vice-Presidents, and General Managers. Should these be made known to the public? Salaries are something that people are never quick to release, but it may help in this case. Why? My reason is the following: The union met together 2 weeks before because they were asked to take salary concessions to help the plant stay open. I don't know what the concessions were, but truth be told, it may have helped the plant stay open a little bit longer so a potential buyer could come in and repair the plant. The union rejected any concessions, and the workers continued to get paid.... for 2 more weeks. Whether this was corporate greed, or selfishness of the working class, we won't know. So with this unsurety, how do we respond?

One of my initial thoughts was, "What kind of spending habits do these people have? Where are the paychecks spent?" This response is my desire to see people become less consumeristic. If the workers were living below their potential (which often is not hard if you have a little self control), they may have been able to take a pay cut for a while that would have let them keep living normal lives. Unfortunately, most people live paycheck to paycheck, or over their means, and are in severe consumer debt, which forces them to demand higher pay whether there is a need or not.

Another question that came up while I watched the broadcasts was, "What is the role of loyalty in worker-factory relationships?" Why were the workers not willing to invest their own money into the future of the factory. Should any of us, if we work for a company, be willing to sacrifice a little for the good of the company? The question also become, when does the company sacrifice for the workers in need? When to the CEO's and Presidents sacrifice their huge 6 figure salaries for the good of their workers?

My wife and I will often hear about a salary of a person making 500,000 dollars a year, and realize that those people make more in a month than we do in a year. What on earth could a person do with all that money? Sadly, what can be done is flaunted in front of all of America on MTV, sports networks, and any other program that flaunts lives of the rich and famous, and American buy that dream of living in the lap of luxury. We look to our own selves, and not to the people we depend on for the life that we live.

Someday, I hope a company will see that they are more than just different levels of workers, but groups of people who depend on each other for their identity and well being. A CEO is nothing without every person below him/her, and the custodian has no job without a CEO running a good company.

My peace is written,

DEW

Little ads to the right

Well, a couple of weeks ago, I decided to try this adsense thing by google. That is the little white box on the right of the screen with an add in it. I thought I might as well get a little profit from this blog thing if possible. Unfortunately, as I write about my experiences, I write about things like purpose, community, and church, which makes the ads very Cheesus (Cheesy Jesus) like. I am considering dropping the ads because I am more embarassed by what they advertise for, and that was a fear of that I had when I signed up. At least it's not umm.... If I write it, it may give me an add for it. You can figure it out.

DEW

Continuation of thoughts on community

Keith (this is in response to a comment on my last writing), I greatly appreciate your comments and questions, and was hoping you would respond (and I knew you would). I can't agree more with your response to students speaking of "no community" and the time after graduation. My associate pastor and were speaking of this recently, and he actually spoke of his family being his community of support, and to reach out to (kids and relatives). Life gets in the way sometimes, but we still long for the closeness of what we experienced at the OCBP, and hopefully long for the return of Christ and the joy that will come with it.

As far as comparing OCBP and LDW go, I think there is one primary difference, with others that stem from it. The major difference is moving from society to a wilderness, versus still working a job while living "in community". Both have benefits. The benefit of a wilderness community is that I think it is easy to recognize the absolute uniqueness of living together in the woods. It should be easier to realize that group interaction on LDW cannot happen on a campus, because there are thousands of other people around. That realization should hopefully prevent a disillusioned belief that an tightly woven community can form and stay together for a long period of time. Unfortunately, the difficulty in going into the woods, is that things may seem clear in the wilderness, but get awfully murky when you add many other voices, and not as many direction givers. There is also a greater chance for individual (not in an individualistic way) leadership on LDW. There seem to be more chances for failure, which increase the growth opportunities if they are handled well.

The benefit to the beach is that it still connects with day to day life and interaction with the world. Students do not lose complete contact with culture, news, or family for that period of time. It allows common connections to continue, while still giving challenges to students. Leadership opportunities come inside the house, where students can initiate conversations, must take part in planning concentrated times of focusing on God (some people call this worship), and some can lead in their cook groups. All of these opportunities are great, but they still, like LDW, lead to a focus on the inner group of Christians, and create a "bubble", if you will, that people want to see on campuses.

As I write this, I wonder if what I am looking for is a way to equip students to lead others out of process of looking into their own groups, and instead, look for opportunities to go to other groups and establish themselves relationally and structurally. I would love to see more of my student leaders approach me and tell me that they are leaving the leadership team to pursue interaction in other on-campus groups (of a non-Christian nature), but still want to maintain a relationship with me or another campus minister to help guide them. Maybe this is what Steve Garber does when he meets with individuals from lofty places and offers them encouragement and vision to go back to the world they came from and cast light into the darkness.

At the same time, I don't think the desire to be in a place (that lasts longer than simply 2 hours on Sunday mornings) where Christians join together in heart and mind to glorify God will ever fade from us. It is the way we were created in the beginning, to glorify God with no interruptions of brokenness. Do the communities we create during the summer cast normative visions for us? In many ways, yes, but there will always be a struggle to live normatively in a broken world,and that is the conversation that does not happen very often at our beach projects. How do we live together, yet not want to create and sustain insulating environments?

I would love some more questions or statements to help guide my thoughts on this, so please leave some comments.

Grace and mercy,
DEW

Disappointing Triumphalistic Community

It has been three years since my Ocean City Beach Project (OCBP) summer experience with the CCO. The experience and learning that occurred at the OCBP gave me a vision for life as a Christian and also put me in a community that was intentional together and bonded in different ways. As I have been a campus minister over the past 3 years, I have seen students go to the OCBP and come back transformed and excited to do God's work on campus. Recently though, I have seen a downside to the way community comes together, both on campus, and at the OCBP.

Typically, what I have seen happen in my own life, and in the life of students, is that once the OCBP experience has passed, the comfort and safety of a well guided community are sorely missed, and campus ministers are left to clean up the aftermath of a student desiring a closeness that may not be possible with a large group of people this side of eternity.

To contextualize this a little bit, I will speak of TREK, the fellowship I work with at IUP. We are a group that comes together every Monday night to listen and interact with a speaker on a given topic (racism, gender, politics, Catholicism and Protestantism, Christianity and Islam...). We don't sing songs, and some weeks we pray, some weeks we don't. This has created an atmosphere that brings in a group of skaters, a group of political activists (be it young republicans or democrats), a couple of artists, a few honors college students, and another group that lives together in an apartment complex. People do not know everything about each other, and because of that, the 15 minutes before our fellowship, and 30 minutes after are often spent socializing. When students are not at TREK, they go back to their respective places, to the den of skaters, to the world of the "smart kids" in the honors college, or to the studios with other artists, and they live in those places. They are present, trying to cast light in their classes, their dorms, wherever they go. I see this as amazing. Students who have experienced "community" see this as unfulfilling.

The cry from certain students the past 2 semesters has been, "But we are not a community, what can we do to form community? We don't know the other people in the group." These are good questions, but my question has become, why has your experience dictated your view of community, and why is what we have bad? Their answer is primarily personal. "I don't feel like I know people." It is not out of concern for the other person or the propagation of the Kingdom, but out of their own desire to know others. This is good, but why do we have to extract ourselves from our daily lives to know the people that we meet with once a week, rather than the people we are in class with 3 days a week? The place we actually have community may not be all Christians, but this is all the better, so that the Greatest Commandment and the Great Commission can be fulfilled!

Unfortunately, the desire of students and of churches all over American is to come together on Sundays or another day and then see each other a few other days through the week, which further moves us out of the world. Ultimately, maybe what I am talking about is a shift from seeing the church and fellowships on campus as a place of gathering, filling, and teaching, that moves out to reaching. Do our fellowships offer too many activities so that people can be together all the time? Does a large amount of activities actually prevent students from going out and being lights in the darkness? Sometimes, I think this is the case. In the past 3 years, I have felt a strain to share the gospel in a compartmentalized way. I want to be able to share the gospel, but I don't want to have to abstract myself from the community that I spend the most time with (my co-workers and wife) to care for them and hopefully cast light. Maybe this is the problem with our institution of the church. We spend so much time together, we forget about the rest of the world. This could be why Paul was so good at sharing the Gospel. He worked with people in the marketplace, and wrote letters to home churches. He worked with unbelievers, and I am sure that an unknown number of merchants in various cities know Christ because of him.

But why is this so hard to conceptualize? "To live is Christ, to die is gain." Revelation speaks clearly about a number of people gathering together in the end times to unite as Christ comes again, as we join in a true community of believers. This is a beautiful (beatific even?) vision. The good of the church is that it may give us a glimpse occasionally of what the consummation may be like. The faithful are gathered together glorifying God, seeking to be with one another fully, celebrating, working, and playing. This is the vision that the OCBP gives to students. It gives a holistic vision that is triumphant in many ways, but 5 weeks after the project is over, many students are overwhelmed and disappointed with the reality that it is impossible to experience that kind of community on campuses. Maybe the CCO needs to have a class at the beach on being in the world, not in an insulated community.

Now, for the CCOers that read this, I am a product of the OCBP and love it dearly. But we may need to reassess the attractional qualities of inviting people in for dinner. Maybe we should try to keep students out so that they are a little more realistic about the nature of life outside of a big house with many rooms (parallels to Christ's speech intentional). Our rooms are being prepared for us, but they are not yet ready. And so I keep struggling to understand how to live in the tension of the now but not yet, the broken view of the glory to come, seen through a mirror dimly.

Peace,
DEW

The Dreary Winter and Glimpses of Life

The two interns that I work with recently put together a Bible study on Creation for our student leaders to lead, and a text that they referenced was Jeremiah 31:35&36. This passage when read with its context, may provide some insight into the reason why the winter in Pennsylvania often seems bleak.
"Thus says the LORD, Who gives the sun for light by day And the fixed order of the moon and the stars for light by night, Who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar; The LORD of hosts is His name: 'If this fixed order departs From before Me',declares the LORD, 'Then the offspring of Israel also will cease From being a nation before Me forever'."

I read through this once, and it seemed clear that the sun, moon, and stars governing the day and night, and the seas roaring as a gravitational effect from the moon are all ordered by God, as he called them into being with His Word (This is not a statement on creation and evolution, simply on the creator nature of God). Upon further investigation, these created things we witness may have another purpose. The Lord speaks previously about the new covenant that will be written on the hearts of men, rather than on stone. There seems to be a shift in focus, to verses 35 and 36, but 35 and 36 may speak to the creation being a signpost pointing to the faithfulness of God to His covenants with His people.

Why is this significant? Paul Harbeson, the outdoor guru of the Coalition for Christian Outreach's Outdoor Leadership Team speaks of watching the hands of a watch go round to signify phases of life, and a story that often repeats itself, that will end in redemption. Similarly, these 2 little voices sing a chorus of praises to God's faithfulness to his covenants. They speak of the sun, moon, and stars giving peace because we can always be sure they will rise, and when they don't, we will be fearful that we will be no more.

This is absolutely significant because what if, by some sovereign phenomena, God has ingrained in human beings the understanding of his faithfulness through the sun, moon, and stars? It is well documented medically that when people do not receive a good dose of sunlight, they can get what is called "seasonal depression." This depression comes because the people do not receive vitamins that are absorbed from sunlight. Maybe, in addition to the vitamin absorption, we are mentally stagnated by not seeing the sun due to cloudiness or overcast conditions (PA during the majority of winter). We do not experience the symbol of God's covenant daily, and we are rightfully sad.

Further on in the winter season, we experience the overcomoddified holiday of Christmas, and people celebrate by covering their house in expensive little lights, and often put silly things in their front yards. This has been called the festival of lights, and maybe there is a huge reason people get so much joy out of the Christmas lights. Maybe these lights were originally intended to cast a vision of what is to come in a season of bleak skies. They were a bunch of little lights, pointing forward to the coming of the sun. Maybe, little white Christmas lights were intended to mimic the star over Bethlehem, which was just a taste of the light that was brought to the world in Christ's birth.

Maybe all of this is just a reflective daze. I don't really feel anything when people decorate their houses, but at some point, before America and Hallmark forgot about Jesus at Christmas, maybe the lights that people decorated with had a greater significance: to point forward and remind people of the covenant God has with His people.

So is seasonal depression related to not experiencing a symbol of God's covenant due to cloudiness and snow? Maybe. I like the thought that we are wired to experience God's design in nature as a part of our wellbeing. But we may only get that answer sometime down the road, when God is light for all of creation.

Peace,
DEW

The Purpose Driven Life is over, time for reflection

Well, for the past 6 weeks, the church I work for has undertaken the task of doing the 40 Days of Purpose. I have never been gung ho about the process, but I chose to submit to the authority of the church and my bosses, and move the PDL into campus ministry, and also submissively joined a small group. For campus, I hate mainstream things, so my co-workers and I put together strong Bible studies around the "purposes" (in quotations because I believe we have the sole purpose to glorify God and enjoy him forever, not 5 separate purposes. Evangelism, discipleship, felloship, and ministry are all worship), and our student leaders took those studies to the small groups and led them, to my joy. Not only did we do the revised curriculum, we helped students learn how to study the Bible, not read random verses that "the Bible says" and believe it literally. To me, this was a much more fortitudinous method of teaching purpose.

Anyhow, my beautiful wife and I joined a group because we were asked. Now, by history, I am Baptist, and by belief, I am a Reformed, Dutch, Presbaptist (coinfused? So am I.). Through our group, which had a spectrum of generations, I often heard universalistic talk. I realized after reading the first 3 sections of the book, that Jesus isn't talked about very much. I thought initially that this book was causing people to know Christ, but I don't get that understanding. It is getting people to feel good, and be positive, but the fall is mentioned way to late, when people are pretty high on themselves. There is very little recognition of a need for a savior, which came out very clearly in the words of the members. But even through all of this, God is in control.

The main question in the evangelism talk was, "what does it mean to be born again?" Great question. Our group was full of assumptions. Problem #1, from where does the saying come? Matthew is the answer, but my wife and I are the only people who thought to look at the Bible. "Unless a man is born of water and the spirit, he will not enter the Kindom of Heaven." Pretty clear to me, but not to the people around me. They had all kinds of experiences with outspoken charismatics who said they were "born again," so their understanding of being born again, was based on experienc, not truth. I made it clear that I am born again, but don't speak in tongues or go into trances, and I don't know my rebirth date, like many of whom were spoken.

After this question, we moved to if someone doesn't hear the gospel, can they still get to heaven? What I thought the Bible was clear about was confession and belief being necessary, but apparently, not to the people in my group who were brought up in the church, and who read the purpose driven life.

What was outstanding about this experience and why do I know that God is in control? Well, we have 3 women who were raised Catholic and said that they had barely ever touched a Bible or heard it read. At the end of last night, I had one talking to me about the responsibility we have to share our faith and the knowledge of Christ with others, and another was quoting the scripture that she was supposed to memorize (and did, which is more than I can say for myself) as a part of this study, making connections between the necessity of the Gospel for salvation, and its connection to a way of life, not just little niceties.

Finally, God has opened a door for me to have more conversations with the woman who was adamantly pro-choice when it comes to Jesus, and the other two seem to have a much better grasp of the truth of Christ to the the conversational debate that was had between myself and the other woman.

And in all, Christ is glorified.

DEW

"sic transit gloria" - "glory fades" or does it?

A return to virtuosity - on the election

It has been a while since I last wrote, and my good friend and brother in law Keith Martel just encouraged me to write, so here I am.

On the election. It seems like old news now, but W won, and the republicans have a greater control of the house and senate. As I think back over my experience the week before voting, I remember many people trying to convince me that one candidate was better than the other, with no regard for the political system as a whole. Now, I am not political scientist, but some things seem clear to me
1. The system was set up the way it was to provide checks and balances
2. That system does not work so well when it is partisan (that is, there are no checks and balances)
3. I keep hitting the tab button, and it doesn't tab, it moves me to the little button on the bottom of the screen (frustrating)
4. The judge issue is important
5. President Bush has had tonsonofa (that is Korean mother in law for "a lot of") trouble appointing pro-life judges
6. The number of abortions in America decreased, even when Bill Clinton was in office
7. Neither guy is a great candidate (for a little political incorrectness, a student mentioned that on South Park a week or two ago, there was an election for school mascot. One was a turd, and the other was a penis (or some other not-so-publicly accepted object). The punchline was, "how do you choose between a turd and a dick?" or something to that effect. They are not gentle, but writers of South Park, your point is well made.

On to my analysis. No matter what happens, God is in control. With on candidate, the poor are looked over, with another, public morality is a non-issue. People in the past have been judged either way, and America's day will come, whether we like it or not.

Anyway, I walked into the booth, still undecided. What I was decided on, was that I wanted to vote a split ticket, to at least try and represent what I wanted to happen. I voted for the president last. I voted for Dave Reed (R for house), Bob Casey (D), Jim Clymer (C - Senate - the only independent with a chance althought that didn't prove so fruitful), and the rest Democrats. That left me with Bush and Cheney for President. I felt good about that vote until I noticed that lots of Republicans were winning, and now, economic decisions have less checks and balances than before. Partisan politics could be the plight or flight of the country. Time will tell.

Hey, I figure that this may mean more money in my pocket next year, but it may also mean less money in a poor persons pocket, and still less life sustaining jobs for those who lost theirs from outsourcing. I wasn't very happy with Bush's answer to job creation - it was education. I love education and all, but a 50 year old man going back to college with a mortgage payment to make and a family to feed means that there is probably not a paycheck for the house and family. Senor Bush, this doesn't make sense. Nor does the No Child Left Behind Act. Let's take away money from poorly performing schools, so that they can do better. Try paying inner city teachers more, it seems easy. Try redistributing property taxes to fund a more "equal" public education. If the rich don't like it, raise their taxes. They would cry for a property tax. Those are my thoughts.

In another conversation with some parishoners of the church for which I work, the idea of property was huge. They felt that work meant that they had every right to own property, and the government had no right to tax them for what they make, and no right to enforce rules on them. It is amazing how far the assumption goes that humans will work for the good of their fellow humans. I was talking about corporate greed a bit, and asking why it is okay socially for a CEO to have a 3000 dollar leather chair, a 50,000 dollar Christmas bonus, and a 500,000 dollar a year paycheck, yet people have to be cut back to make processes more efficient. Is this a faithful form of business? I don't think so, but a lot of business men out there do, and by they way, those businessmen are often our Sunday School teachers.

On reductionism and politics. Abortion was a key issue this year. I am super pro-life. What does this mean for me economically? That is the question not too many people ask. An article was published recently about abortion rates rising under Bush, even though he passed the Partial Birth abortion ban. To me, this says something. How do we create an atmosphere in America that is conducive to life? Maybe this a little of Marx in me saying economics, but hey, it makes sense. If a young couple gets pregnant, and one has a job, and the other can't find one, it may seem financially impossible for them to raise a child, so what would they do? Abort it, unless there are programs that can support families that are having children but can't afford it. So the answer to me is two-fold. The first thing we have to do is make sure that there are enough support services to care for pregnancies and children. The second, is provide an economic system that helps families be families - and this economic system would also include health insurance that doesn't cost 800 bucks a month once you have a baby. It makes sense to me, how about you?

Well, I have gotton on a soapbox, and my closing statement is this. "We need to move toward a more caring, nurturing America, one that encourages life and its abundance. The only problem is, partisan politics has never done this, and free-market capitalism hasn't helped much the past four years. Keep praying."
David Whitcomb - In his office - November 10, 2004

Reflection - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

My wife and I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on Saturday night, and this is one I want in my collection. The ideas on the impossibility of individuality and knowledge of self run deep. I hope everyone can watch this and reflect on all that has happened in their life, and see the need for good and bad to produce personhood. We do not stand alone. We are inexorably tied to the life we have led, which includes the people around us. You must watch this, and note, it is a love story for the ages. A "chick-flick" that I liked.

DEW

Self Esteem and the Image of God (part 2 of the era of underachievers)

Well, Last time, I was writing a bit about the era of underachievers, and I realized while I was writing that my thought pattern was trailing off into the afternoon lull, which is why I stopped writing. I have recently thought that the people I am talking about are not underachievers. If anything they are successful underachievers. They don't really do much, or want to do much, but get anything they want by doing anything they want.

I mentioned that I would be reflecting on some reading I was doing, and right now, my bedtime reading is The Feel-Good Curriculum: The Dumbing Down of America's Kids in the Name of Self-Esteem. The premise of the book is that the self-esteem movement is plaguing education by making school more about social and psychological health, and not really about knowledge. Now, I am an advocate of treating the whole student, but Stout's argument is primarily that knowledge has fallen by the wayside, and that schools need to build children's self esteem by telling them that they are good.

Stout's argument so far (only 100 pages in), is that achievement leads to self esteem, and if there is no achievement, and students are applauded, students will think that they don't need to do anything to receive praise. Continuing with this idea, Stout says that if teachers are helping students understand the material being taught, they will be able to do the work they need, and feel good if they do the work and self-esteem will grow from achieving something.

Stout talks about absolute truth, and the need for moral direction in education, and I think these aspects are critical as well, but my main thoughts so far concern the understanding of self-esteem through achievement and if this coheres with Biblical perspectives on the humans being made in the image of God.

I just wrote a ton and deleted it, because I found myself wandering with no direction. I will cease writing, and revisit this tomorrow, hopefully with a fresh cup of coffee in me and a sharper mind.

Peace,
DEW